emilyjanee

Two full days left of 2009, and everywhere I look people are doing recaps of the year. The big events, who died, who made the news, the heartbreaking and heartwarming moments. I'll spare you doing that here, as I honestly don't remember much of the year, as I spend it either running around like a crazy person OR trying desperately to get rested up from running around like said crazy person. But I did have a really good year, that I know. My book did really well, my daughter is healthy and happy (aside from the occasional tantrum) I have an awesome new writing space (pics to come in new year, once it's totally done!) and basketball season is really only just beginning. Plus, I converted yet another person to Friday Night Lights, my friend Courtney, and now she is hooked. Hooray!

There are a few things I've decided I really want to try to leave in 2009, though. Like guilt. I have a lot of it, for various reasons and various things, and it's really exhausting, like carrying around a backpack full of heavy rocks. I am ready to put it down and move on, lighter. So I think I will write down all the things I've felt guilty about this year, put the paper in the fire on New Years Eve, and send it up the chimney to the sky. Hopefully my guilt will not settle back down over me in ash form. Blow away, blow away!

There are some pressing questions, though, that have not yet been answered in these last twelve months. Things I just, you know, wonder about, and hope to have answers for in the coming year, or at least sometime. Such as:

1. Why are all towels ENORMOUS these days? Twice I have gone to buy new towels, because we really need them, and they are all literally twice as big as my old ones. Are we bigger, or something? Do we need towels the size of tablecloths, really? Really?

2. In the Max and Ruby books, and TV show---which my daughter is now addicted to---where are their parents? There's no mention of them, only Grandma. Someone is paying the mortgage on that nice house and paying for Bunny Scouts. It's such a cute show, but I worry they've been abandoned, or something.

3. Does anyone other than me still have a landline phone? And by having one, am I officially old? None of my friends under 30 have one anymore. It's like regular bath towels, just out of fashion, or something.

4. Do celebrity moms really find motherhood "perfectly overwhelming" and "just amazing" all the time, or do they have moments when they, too, want to tear their hair out? Also, does Jennifer Lopez REALLY have no help at all with her twins? And if so, how did she train for that triathalon? With a double stroller?

5. How many lip glosses and lipsticks should an average person have? Is there an actual number? I have a feeling that it is not fourteen, which is where I am at currently. I'm thinking it is in single digits, whatever it is. Uh-oh.

6. Will this blog ever become more high minded, covering politics and history and providing insightful commentary on world events?

7. Will my daughter ever learn to say "please," without having to be prompted to do so? Because I am beginning to sound like a serious broken record. Also, like my mother. Thanks for the patience, Mom. This one's for you: Please!

8. Will I ever finish another novel?

I don't have the answers for these questions. Maybe I will next year. We'll see, I guess. Until then, I hope you all have a VERY safe and happy New Year's Eve, guilt-free, small-toweled, talking on your landline. Or, not. You know, whatever works for you.

Have a great day, everyone!




Okay, who am I kidding? We all know the answer to number 6 is a big fat NO. Just seeing if you were paying attention.....

I just wish this would all go away. You know what.

It's Sunday night, and I'm updating because honestly, I need a few minutes to focus on something other than dealing with my cranky toddler. The holidays make everyone a little tense, I know, but it seems---just based on my own personal experience---to be especially overwhelming for two year olds. Suffice to say that I THINK she broke her record for whining today, clocking in at over a half hour straight. I had to take myself outside and count to ten, and I wish I could say it was the first time over this long holiday weekend. Honestly, I know I have said this before, but I don't know how you full time stay at home moms and dads do this. I will be so happy to see my sitter tomorrow afternoon that I may just burst into tears at the sight of her. Hopefully not, as it would probably scare her. But you get the idea.

(I hesitated to even post the above paragraph, as I feel like it makes me look like a bad mom. It seems so effortless for a lot of people, or at least not this hard. But I look at parenting the way I do writing: I'm honest about how challenging it is for me. If it's not for you, I admire you greatly. And I wish I was you. But this is me, and I'm counting to ten, whether over whining or plotting frustrations. And that's okay. I hope.)

Tantrums and meltdowns aside, it really WAS a great Christmas. We had good food and good times with all our families (except those who couldn't be around my sick husband and child: we hope to catch up with them when we are germ free, if and when that ever happens). My husband bought me a kick-ass pair of cowboy boots, so I can totally channel Tammi Taylor and Lyla Garrity, and I got some gift cards to hopefully put towards a new desktop for my office sometime soon. My daughter LOVED Christmas and we now have even more plastic stuff than before. The craziest thing, though, is that for all I (and everyone else) spent on her---tent, blocks, tons of books, play camera---her favorite toy of all was this five dollar plastic tentacle ball I got at Target. She's obsessed with it. Second best? A ninety-nine cent Slinky. Gotta love that.

Now, there's four days until 2010 begins, so I'm thinking about my resolutions. First up: healthier living. Which means no popcorn or chips before bed, and trying to cut back on the desserts and maybe the red wine. (Note: I said MAYBE.) Also, I want to do more for my dogs, who I feel have been neglected for the past two years. Just more walks, more cuddle time, more pats on the head, that kind of thing. I also want to try and spend more time with my girlfriends, because every time I do I feel SO much better about everything. It's like a tonic, I swear, and I just need to make the effort to try to set things up more often, even if does mean sitters or NASA-level scheduling. What else? I want to stop sighing loudly so much (my husband tells me I do this constantly) and maybe lose that last seven pounds of my pregnancy weight I'm still carrying around. Oh, and I'd really like to see at least five movies, in the theater, with popcorn, this year. Which would be five more than I have in the last twelve months.

That's the start of my list, anyway. I've learned not to make resolutions that are too hard to do....which is probably why that six pounds won't make the final list. I guess my resolution, as always, is really just to try and be a better person all around. That's just vague enough to work. Not specific enough? Okay, I'll try to floss more and curse less. Done!

Have a great evening, everyone!

What my post title said :)

I hate the holidays, myself, but everyone else seems to love 'em.

God, I'm such a Grinch :)

It's the day before Christmas Eve, and I have to say that I feel like I am finally getting into the spirit. Sure, there's still a level of stress and craziness as I try to juggle everything to do and everyone we have to catch up with. Also, both my daughter and husband have come down with this wicked cold, so I am doing all I can to rally my immune system so I don't go down as well. I really thought we'd get a pass on being sick for Christmas this year, after the debacle that was last year, when we all came down with a throw-up bug on Christmas Eve. THAT was fun. If I have to pick, I'd much rather have a sniffle and a cough than that. Although not being sick at all would be, like, the best gift ever. I'm putting out extra cookies and milk for Santa in the hopes he'll deliver.

Meanwhile, last night I had two of my best girlfriends over for pigs in a blanket (tofu pups for Dana) spinach dip, pizza, wine and Love Actually. It was just what I needed to mark what I decided was the official beginning of my vacation. When you are self employed, and in the midst of a tricky novel, it's REALLY hard to just stop working, even when you know you should. And I should, because my house is so incredibly messy, and none of my gifts are wrapped, and I'm totally exhausted and surrounded by sick folk. Plus, holidays are supposed to be relaxing, right? Please say yes. Anyway, so after having two great work days in my new office---which is so great, I can't even tell you---I'm stepping back. Clocking out until at least next week, and hopefully the new year. It will be good for me, and hopefully for the book as well.

I know it will be good for my house and the clutter that is piled up everywhere. I'm about to grab a garbage bag, put my hair in a ponytail, and get down to it. But before I do, I just want to wish all of you, wherever you are and whatever you happen to believe in, the happiest and healthiest of holidays. It's been a crazy year, busy and fun and stressful (at times) but I would not change a thing. I'm so grateful for all your support, for the fact that you don't judge me too harshly for watching so much TV (hello, Jersey Shore!) and that you read this silly blog so faithfully. You are my co-workers, in a lot of ways, the folks around my water cooler, who make those sort of lonely work days so much more fun. Thank you for that. It means more than you know.

Okay, off to clean. Maybe I'll chug down an Emergen-C first, though.....

Have a great a safe holiday, everyone!

Good morning from my kitchen, where I am sitting literally four feet away from not one but TWO leftover half cakes: one amazing red velvet, and one double chocolate. And don't even get me started on the cheese straws, coffee ring, and Whole Foods chocolate cake in the fridge. Give me strength. I just got off the treadmill, but I think it might take a miracle for me not to dive headfirst into them while I drink my coffee.

Our party was great, but crazy hectic as always. This is, like, the twentieth year we've done this party, in various incarnations, and it's always changing. Used to be everyone came late and stayed later. Now, the announced time is 6 but people show up, babies in tow, as early as 5:30. Then it's total mayhem, toddlers and kids running wild while my husband and I try to be good hosts and get a huge amount of food onto the table for everyone. At eight sharp, half the room has cleared. By ten, the only ones left are our friends who are in their twenties, who probably don't even go OUT until that hour in their normal lives. I tried to rally, staying up until 12:30, then was really hating it when my daughter got up at 5:30. Whoa. All I want for Christmas is sleep, sleep and more sleep. Are you listening, Santa?

One of my favorite parts of the party, though, is the night after. That's when I get to put on my pajamas and eat leftovers, and this year we did it while watching equal opportunity television: football, followed by Love, Actually. Oh, man. Nothing like eating leftover lasagna, beans and rice and chicken casserole while watching Hugh Grant dance to the Pointer Sisters. Good times.

With the party behind us, I can move onto the actual holiday. I've done most of my shopping---although there's always a few more things to pick up---and with my office done (yay!) I can spend the time I'm not checking things off my list geeking out by labeling folders and organizing boxes. It is nerd heaven, I am telling you. All I need to do is get the internet working over there, and I'll be all set to officially move over. Although really, what I SHOULD do is not hook up the DSL, because I'd probably get a done more work done without the distractions of Twitter, and Ebay, and reading the comments on this blog. But let's be realistic here. Me with no internet is about as likely as me actually managing to resist that red velvet cake. Well intentioned, yes, but not going to happen.

Just one, small piece. A sliver! Because it's Christmas....

Have a great day, everyone!

I want to be, like her: