emilyjanee

So, I just discovered something quite tragic, yet  completely exciting. What is that, you may ask? Well, just a few seconds ago, I decided to do something I do every time I see a mirror; look in the mirror. No, I am not conceited. Neither am I looking for every single flaw in my face. Although, I do look for a few flaws... hey, I'm sixteen. I have permission to do it. In my mind at least..

ANYWAY, on with the story. I have lost my freckles! This is a huge shock for me, since I have always been the tall girl with a shit load of freckles polluting my face. I use pollute because it was like a damn land mine there. It was a disaster to cover up. Mwahaha. But I realized that the freckles were as much as a part of me, as my height. Without it, I wouldn’t be me. So, since I am freckle-less, I feel like crying. Because now I have lost a part of me. A part I was made fun of for years; a part that I was told that I was lucky to have freckles; a part of me, that completed who Emily Ois was. 

Now, even though I have lost my little bit of identity, doesn’t me I’m still me. It just means that I am growing up. I am shedding the – I don’t know, this will sound quite odd – “carcass” of the old Emily. I have already lost the mentally negative Emily… somewhat. 



K that was a lie. The old Emily is still here. I just try and shove her in a little closet in the furthest section of my mind… I know, I know. That is incredibly unhealthy and I should forget about it. Yea, that would be entirely perfect. I’ll put that on my to do list, RIGHT underneath having my own pet unicorn named Frankfurt, and above growing wings. Like really? It won’t really happen. That Emily, the old me, will always be here. Sure, I’ll have my moments where I am happy. But will I ever be TRULY happy? I mean, I have been bullied all of my life. Do you really think that I can get rid of such horrid memories in a matter of three years? Hell no! it will take so much longer. 
Ohhh, how I hate being a teenager. I just wish that this negativity streak will vanquish by the end of the summer. But will it actually?
Probably not.

“there goes my hero, watch him as he goes…” 

Alright, so I am currently in Calgary, and do not have the best access to a computer. As you all know, I must have a computer to, well, post a journal.

So for the next few days, or more like a week, i won't be able to do shit on on here, which also means that I can't post any comments on any stories. which stories? All of the stories at plagiarism_haven. I also haven't been able to even read them, which completely SUCKS.

Anyway, I have to go, but i will end up commenting after the 9th of August.

PEACE OUT MY FRIENDS.
PEAAACEEE. OUUTTTT.

So, it's officially summer today. Therefore, it is officially awesome time. Therefore, I should not feel like shit on the first day of summer, right? Yea, if only life worked out that way. My brother got kicked out last night, then came back later on that night because I called him on the phone, basically balling my eyes out asking him to come back. Then, I got sick. Pretty sure it was from being in the sun for a little bit too long. My bad. So, here I am, soaking in Aloe-vera and solarcaine, wanting to die. Fantastic, right?

Well, I do have some positive news. School's out tomorrow. Pretty psyched for that. I really can't take education well anymore. Nothing excites me. Especially at this time of year. I'm just ready to get out of this place! I really should be studying, but I am too lazy. I'll do it in a minute:) Just have to do some science, basically bomb the damn test, and I'm out drinking with my girls! Bonfire, anyone?

Only 27 days, and I'm out of this foolish, yet incredibly boring province. Calgary is going to be fantastic, and a complete new experience. New people, new friends, possibly new boy? ;) Even if it is for 3 weeks.. oh well!

Aaaah, time to hit those God-forsaken books. Yay science... :(

Peace, out my friends.

Emilyjanee. 

So, I officially hate my cell phone provider - telus. As of right now, I am currently living with NO CELLULAR DEVICE. Heart breaking, really. They decided to be foolish and not send us my cell phone bill, but the rest of my families came in... Hmm, i feel special. So here I am, cell-phone-less, and in desperate need to text my friends to vent. But, since I can't, I shall vent on here!:) I really hate school. Mainly two of my teachers. My philosophy teacher has to be the biggest idiot who has ever walked the planet. for the past week, i have had to bring my laptop to school, to do a presentation. I was suppose to do it on Friday, and she said it was the official date, and did we? NO. so now, I have to bring it ONCE AGAIN to school, risk getting it stolen again, just to do a fucking 5 minute presentation. No joke, if I don't present on Tuesday, I may just have to throw a fit Now, my other teacher, my careers as a matter of fact, pisses me off. She calls me out for apparently having my phone out... when in reality, it's in my pocket, with many texts waiting to be answered. I am the oh so lucky one who has had the only detention in the ENTIRE class. The all get warnings, but do I? HA no. Plus, she called home and told my parents I am failing, with the projects I had told to her face I need help with. So ridiculously gay. Now, the only positive thing at the moment, is that summer is coming. I am gone for the majority of the summer. Working at Calgary for 3 weeks, cottage for a week, Muskoka Woods for another week, and then I get to go to Warped Tour, and see the most amazing bands ever play. Only about a week and a half until freedom Plus, this summer, I have made the decision to change. Now what shall I change? Well, I am not 100% sure yet. lmao. All I know is that I am becoming more feminine, and perhaps my personality. We'll have to wait and see! Peace out! emilyjanee <3

Live life the way you want.
Who really cares about where your parents want you to go.
Who really cares about where your friends are saying you should go.
It's your life.
If you let other people live it, then you'll be missing out on all of the excitement of making your own choices.
If you want to go into ecology, then go for it.
If you want to drink, then go to the store and get some alcohol.

Why should we let people control OUR lives?
The more and more we continue to let others lead it, the greater the chances are of being confused and alone in the future.
So my advice?

Ignore them.
If they want you to go into science, give them a high five and say NO
it's your decision if you want make the choices you want.
don't lose that opportunity.


well, that was a pathetic lil drabble.
but hey, it's my first one.
i'll get better at some point!
:D
EmilyJanee <3